How To Talk To A Girl On Tinder [And Not Scare Her Away]

January 27, 2022
by Dan Skewes

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So, if you are swiping your way through Tinder, you come across the girl you envision as PERFECT for you… Wouldn’t you want to be able to talk to her properly?! You want to get her attention while not coming across as being too keen, but then you don’t want to look like you are totally uninterested either. How to talk to a girl on Tinder or any other app can be harder to navigate than talking to someone in person for many reasons.

But, what are the chances of meeting your future wife in the frozen food aisle? We will share some of our best pieces of advice - but at the top of our list would be to start a conversation and figure out your match's intentions.

What we mean by this is that you should initially work out if you are both on the same page. Perhaps you’re not looking for anything serious, but she’s looking for her future husband - or maybe you want a future wife, but she just wants a fling. Or, you both might have the predicament of not knowing what you want yet. There are some subtle ways to introduce this into a conversation so read on to find out more.

Be On Your Best Behavior… To Start With Anyway!

So, when it comes to sending that first message - we can promise you that there is nothing worse than a guy who is too forward or too bland. So, be bold and send that first message; girls definitely appreciate this, but girls do not appreciate the typical ‘hi.’ No one appreciates that. It is empty and uninterested and is just something that you could say when passing a stranger in the street.

You could try and be complementary to start off with or get the conversation flowing with something that has stood out to you from their profile. This could be their appearance, or this could delve deeper than that. 

You could quiz them on the location of one of their photos, or you could ask them about their favorite band or just anything that stands out to you on their profile. After all, there is a reason why you have swiped right for them in the first place.

If you notice that the chat is flowing, it can be great to get to a stage where you move the conversation off Tinder and onto another social media platform or text. You can also make sure that you keep cool and calm when you are replying to messages, do not spam this girl with double messages or big essays. 

Not to begin with, anyway. Build up a level of banter and a level of comfort between messaging. Also, do not get angry if she does not reply to your messages straight away - have a little patience!

Remember How Tinder Works

Let’s rewind for a second and remind yourself that you do actually have the upper hand here. This upper hand is that you know that she is interested in you. How do you know this? Well, you both had to swipe right on each other to match each other.

This is a great sign. And, this can really help you to start building up your confidence because you are both attracted to each other. This will be great in making sure that the chat between you flows really smoothly. 

Here’s the thing, you should try not to overthink chatting on Tinder as a whole, so here are some of our best suggestions to keep the conversation flowing.

Make Her Smile!

When we use phrases like ‘haha’ or ‘lol’ through messages, very rarely will we literally be sitting laughing at our phone screen. 

But, this can sometimes happen. It is true that girls love it when guys can make them laugh for real, so showing them what you have got over messages can be a preview before hopefully getting to the stage where you will be meeting them in real life.

There is a fine line between being funny - and being stupid. We say this because this is a big factor in turning a girl away.

Man and woman talking on a date

Try And Be As “Authentically You” As Possible

There are so many worries and stresses about being catfished online and not really knowing who you are talking to, that it is important now more than ever to be truthful and honest. 

Sure, pick your best photos to upload to the app and throw in your favorite pick-up lines, but don’t try to be someone you are not.

We say this because this will definitely lead to disappointment if and when you meet in person. Being yourself could seem like a risk because you don’t know how the girl will react. 

Not everyone will be right for you, and not everyone can fall in love with you, but it is worth a try. If you are true to yourself, then this will reduce anxiety and any element of doubt or regret. There is nothing more that you can do if you stay true to yourself and she is not interested. 

Related: What Colors Go With Khaki? [A Guide to Khaki]

Keeping It Simple

Girls will have had a lot of memorable Tinder encounters, but, indeed, these encounters have not always been memorable for the right reasons. Between cringe-worthy pick-up lines to conversations drier than the Sahara desert, these are all moments of Tinder that stick in a girl’s mind for the wrong reasons. 

When we say ‘keeping it simple,’ we mean don’t feel pressure to throw your best chat up line out there, or don’t be too forward about your intentions - so just try not to do anything too drastic to stand out from the crowd. 

We’re not saying to become invisible in the world of Tinder, but just know that if you treat your girl like a human being, then she will respect that much more. 

How to Talk to A Girl on Tinder Made Easy

Tinder can always be really daunting for anyone who decides to take the plunge and delve deep into the Tinder world. The way you talk to girls on Tinder will also be down to their intentions and yours. 

It all depends on what exactly you are looking for. We wouldn’t recommend employing the same messaging style to your future wife as you would employ a fling. It is all about being realistic and respectful and knowing where the line between being over-interested and under-interested is.

The bottom line is that Tinder is all about having fun; it should not generate a build-up of anxiety within you. It is there for you to enjoy and not take too seriously. It’s all about knowing where the line is between having fun and being an idiot!

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